I mean seriously, my piece of shit, $12 coffee maker from some 3rd-World bunghole has all the attributes of some haunted shit.
A.) It makes random, strange noises.
B.) It works when it wants to - turning on and off at its own leisure.
C.) It's fucked.
D.) Coffee is addictive, therefore the Devil is truly inside.
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In other news, on Saturday morning while sleeping soundly in a hotel room, I woke at 3:30 a.m. ON THE FUCKING DOT! However, Marlene was safe and sound at my home. Could she have generated enough haunted mojo to affect me 65 miles away? I doubt it. I did give her a new awesome hairstyle and a Faberge Egg for some reason.
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