I mean seriously, my piece of shit, $12 coffee maker from some 3rd-World bunghole has all the attributes of some haunted shit.
A.) It makes random, strange noises.
B.) It works when it wants to - turning on and off at its own leisure.
C.) It's fucked.
D.) Coffee is addictive, therefore the Devil is truly inside.
In other news, on Saturday morning while sleeping soundly in a hotel room, I woke at 3:30 a.m. ON THE FUCKING DOT! However, Marlene was safe and sound at my home. Could she have generated enough haunted mojo to affect me 65 miles away? I doubt it. I did give her a new awesome hairstyle and a Faberge Egg for some reason.
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